pranks - jwz

Insurance Fraud Fursona

jwz — Sat, 18 Apr 2026 04:10:20 +0000

Three sentenced for 'man in bear suit' insurance scam

Viral video handed to insurers as evidence seemed to show a bear in a 2010 Rolls-Royce Ghost in Lake Arrowhead on 28 January 2024. Similar claims were filed on the same date and location for two high-end Mercedes models. But biologists with the California Department of Fish and Wildlife reviewed the footage and determined it showed a human in a bear suit.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Honk Honk. It's The Bonk.

jwz — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 05:38:32 +0000

The Composograph image above is illustrating the 1926 Peaches and Daddy Browning scandal, in which 15-year-old actress Frances "Peaches" Heenan married, and then swiftly tried to divorce, 51-year-old real estate developer Edward West "Daddy" Browning. The Evening Graphic's coverage included allegations that Daddy kept a live goose in their bedroom.

Previously, previously, previously.

Emphasis on "Con"

jwz — Wed, 15 Apr 2026 18:47:54 +0000

There don't seem to be any photos of this guy, so I guess the press is just gonna finger this presumably-innocent Santa. But is any Santa truly innocent?

SantaCon promoter arrested for charity fraud:

Stefan Pildes [...] allegedly diverted funds from the event to a "slush fund" to pay for extensive renovations to a lakefront property in New Jersey, luxury vacations in Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Vail, Colorado, concert tickets, extravagant meals, and a luxury vehicle, prosecutors said.
About $124,000 of the SantaCon funds were spent toward leasing a luxury apartment in Manhattan, and another $100,000 was invested in a boutique resort in Costa Rica founded by a friend of Pildes, the indictment said. [...]
"More than a third of the organization's total giving during that period went to groups or individuals who appear connected to Burning Man, the annual weeklong festival in Nevada, including organizations devoted to hula hooping, dance parades, free costumes and more," Gothamist reported. [...]
In 2018, Participatory Safety "lost $17,498 worth of investments it made in cryptocurrencies -- equal to about a third of its charitable giving that year," Gothamist reported. "More than $832,000 of the money raised from SantaCon programming -- or 59% -- went to the nonprofit's expenses, not including its charitable grants."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman's Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto

jwz — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 21:39:13 +0000

SAN FRANCISCO:

"I've been using ChatGPT to help with cooking for a while now, so I didn't think too much of it when the ingredients list included a bottle filled with gasoline and a cloth wick," said the alleged attacker, who added that he naturally assumed making the rice dish involved driving several hours to the OpenAI CEO's residence, especially after the AI chatbot had given him a "pretty decent" sesame chicken recipe the week before.
"I have to admit I felt a little weird as I prepared to toss this flaming incendiary device through [Altman's] front window, but the recipe explicitly stated that this was an essential step to get that creamy, velvety risotto texture. I guess I didn't know any better. I mean, I've never made risotto before."
The suspect went on to tell reporters that he still had "a whole fridge full" of Molotov cocktails at home, having attempted to prep enough risotto to last the week.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Operation Dildo Blitz

jwz — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 20:14:05 +0000

Anti-ICE Protest in Minneapolis Ends With 50+ Arrests:

Demonstrators shouted "Eat a dick!" and "Fuck ICE!" as they pelted the vehicles with dildos.
Activist Russell Ellis, who posted video of the demonstration on Instagram, said the protesters "showed real balls." "Dildos coming your way! Dildos! Dildos!" Ellis barked as the toys rained down on vehicles, landing with rubbery thwunks. "It's raining dicks!" [...]
Later in the afternoon, police declared the protest an unlawful assembly before rushing in to arrest 54 demonstrators.

"Declared an unlawful assembly" is one of those phrases like "officer-involved shooting" that our lickspittle copagandist media like to trot out un-challenged and un-examined.

There are no unlawful assemblies. Fuck you.

Protesters Wield Sex Toys Outside ICE Facility In Broadview:

The protests were held Saturday outside immigration facilities in Broadview, Portland and Los Angeles, as well as the ICE headquarters in Washington, D.C., with dildos donated by a sex shop that went out of business in Minneapolis.
"The logistics of the last couple of weeks have been insane," said Abe, an organizer of the local protest who declined to give their last name. "[We've] been moving dicks around all these states and we have more than 350 [dildos here at Broadview today] with more than 6,000 available nationally."

I have seen articles about a similar protest in Los Angeles, but the contemptibly cowardly LA media have seemingly all blurred out the dildos in their photo coverage. You call this journalism???

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Ageless Linux

jwz — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 19:03:28 +0000

The Ageless Device: A physical computing device designed to satisfy every element of the California Digital Age Assurance Act's regulatory scope while deliberately refusing to comply with its requirements. The device costs less than lunch and will be handed to children.

Configuration Tiers: Three Levels of Infraction
TIER 0, "The Pamphlet" ~$6
Minimum viable violation. A bootable Linux device with a display, network connectivity, and an app store. No battery, no keyboard -- just proof that this constitutes a regulated device under AB 1043. Good for bulk handout at conferences (50-100 units).
Legal status: Arguable. The 128×64 display introduces fuzziness. The AG could claim it's a dev board. That's fine -- ambiguity is instructive too.
TIER 1, "The Computer", ~$12
An unambiguous general purpose computing device. Color display, keyboard, WiFi, Linux, app store, user setup. The core product. There is no interpretive gap between this device and the law's definitions.
Legal status: Unambiguous. This is a computer with a color display, keyboard, WiFi, Linux, and an app store. It does not collect age data. It is handed to a child. The maximum fine is $7,500.
TIER 2, "The Appliance", ~$18
A self-contained, battery-powered pocket Linux computer. The educational device angle -- a modern descendant of the Acorn BBC Micro and the original Raspberry Pi.
Legal status: Beyond unambiguous. A pocket computer with a color screen, keyboard, battery, WiFi, 8GB storage, and an AI accelerator. It costs less than a large pizza. It fits in a child's hand.

Every tab on this site is gold:

How Distros Are Responding: We track how Linux distributions are responding to age verification mandates, and we provide tools to undo whatever they implement. If a distribution adds an age collection prompt, we will publish a script that removes it. If it ships a D-Bus age verification daemon, we will publish a package that replaces it with silence.
How One Bill Becomes Every Bill: AB 1043 was not written in isolation. It is a template. ICMEC published the model text as a ready-to-introduce statutory draft, and its Global Head of Policy presented it directly to Virginia's Joint Commission on Technology and Science. The same organizations that drafted the model bill are now deploying it in state legislatures across the country. The companies that benefit from the compliance moat fund the advocacy organizations that draft the bills that create the compliance moat. [...]
The Door That Stays Open: AB 1043 requires only self-declared age -- a birthdate field, not government ID or biometrics. Industry analysts have described this as "an initial implementation designed to get the door open." Self-declaration today. Biometric verification tomorrow. The infrastructure is the same; only the input changes. Once every operating system has an age collection interface and a real-time API for transmitting age data to applications, upgrading from a text field to a face scan is a configuration change, not a new law.
Penalty Comparison: Cost of Giving a Child a Computer:
Cost of one Ageless Linux device: $12-18
Maximum combined US penalty for one device given to one child: $46,000
US penalty-to-cost ratio: 3,067:1
Brazil penalty for one violation: up to 522,222:1

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

systemd-censord

jwz — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 18:40:50 +0000

*Slow clap*

On the need for a censorship API for legal compliance reasons in some countries and U.S. states

From: FloofyWolf
Date: Tue, 3 Mar 2026 20:38:08 -0800
To: debian-devel@lists.debian.org
Cc: xdg@lists.freedesktop.org, ubuntu-devel@lists.ubuntu.com, debian-legal@lists.debian.org, legal@lists.fedoraproject.org, devel@lists.fedoraproject.org
Subject: On the need for a censorship API for legal compliance reasons in some countries and U.S. states
Recently, a proposal has been made to implement an API for a new California censorship regulation, "On the unfortunate need for an "age verification" API for legal compliance reasons in some U.S. states" by Aaron Rainbolt. I believe the approach outlined to be very short-sighted, in that creating a bespoke API for each of the hundreds of government censorship requirements that debian will presumably now be following will result in much duplication of effort and an unreliable user experience in which important censorship restrictions may be missed and not implemented. As such, with people now supporting the idea that debian should implement government censorship requests, even creating new standards if needed, I propose the creation of a censorship framework to speed implementation of current and future censorship regulations. [...]
Systemd units will be created for every desired censorship function, and will be started based on the user's location. For example, a unit for Kazakhstan will implement the government-required backdoor, a unit for China will implement keyword scans and web access blocks (more on this later), a unit for Florida will ban all packages with "trans" in the name (201 packages in current stable distribution), a unit for Oklahoma will ensure all educational software is compliant with the Christian Holy Bible, a unit for the entire United States will prevent installation of any program capable of decoding DVD or BluRay media, and a unit for California will provide the user's age to all applications and all web sites from which applications may be downloaded. As can be seen, multiple units may be started for a given location. [...]
To prevent users from bypassing censorship requirements, debian will need to switch to being a binary-only distribution with signed binaries, signed kernel, and signed kernel modules, with mandatory secureboot, and controls to prevent any non-signed software from being installed, written, or compiled, as any foreign sources of software may fail to query systemd-censord or may fail to respect the permissions it returns.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

The best privacy money can buy

jwz — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 18:09:08 +0000

North Oaks, Minnesota is the only city in the United States that is not on Google Maps Street View. YouTube documentarian Chris Parr, who grew up not too far from North Oaks, set out to change that earlier this year. For a brief few days, he literally put North Oaks on the map. And then it was gone again.

"It's known by Minnesotans as a place where executives and CEOs live," Parr told 404 Media. "Famously Walter Mondale is from North Oaks, but also like United Healthcare executives and Target executives."
North Oaks has managed to largely stay unmapped on Street View because of the way the city handles its streets. In almost every city and town in the United States, property owners give an easement to their local government for the roads in front of their homes (or don't have any claim to the roads at all). In North Oaks, homeowners' property extends into the middle of the street, meaning there is literally no "public" property in the city, and the roads are maintained by the North Oaks Homeowners' Association (NOHOA): "the City owns no roads, land, or buildings." [...]
"Technically, if you launch your drone from public property, which anyone can do if you're a registered drone pilot, you can fly it straight up and above private property," Parr said. And so Parr stood at "six or seven different spots" directly outside the boundary of North Oaks and flew his drone around. "I just pulled my car over onto the shoulder and popped my drone up and flew it over," he added. [...]
"According to North Oak's ordinances, you can go like, visit a friend, or if you're a contractor working on a house, you can go into the city, but you have to be an invited guest," Parr said. "I made a Craigslist post asking for somebody to invite me and I got an absolute ton of responses."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Today in ACAB: Afroman defeats Officer Lemon Pound Cake

jwz — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 02:26:19 +0000

Afroman found not liable in bizarre Ohio defamation case

Afroman did not defame Ohio cops in a satirical music video that featured footage of them fruitlessly raiding the rapper's house, a jury found on Wednesday. [...]
The hip hop star wrote the satirical song "Lemon Pound Cake" and made a music video with real footage of the raid taken from his home surveillance cameras to raise money for property damage caused during the search, he has said.
Seven cops with the sheriff's office then sued him in March 2023, alleging the music video defamed them, invaded their constitutional privacy, and was an intentional infliction of emotional distress.
The video features footage of the cops busting down his door, and of one officer eyeing his "mama's lemon poundcake" with his gun drawn. [...]
An attorney for the police, meanwhile, demanded a total of $3.9 million in damages -- divided among the seven officers involved.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

By order of His Majesty King Mob

jwz — Sat, 14 Mar 2026 21:48:50 +0000

AI job losses free up time for unemployed mobs to burn down tech CEO's houses

"Getting laid off without warning from my copywriting job has done wonders for my work-life-bloodthirsty mob balance," reports Taylor Grayden, 35, of Vancouver. "Back when I had a job I never would've had the free time to organize an unruly rabble and march towards the beach house of (Open AI CEO) Sam Altman. But now I'm getting so much more violent retribution accomplished in a day." [...]
"I felt so lost after I was let go at my analytics firm so my whole department could be replaced by Claude AI," explains Sarah Brightwell, 42, of Kingston, ON. "But then I started learning how to use AI as a tool -- specifically for planning a multi-week siege of the sprawling compound of Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei."
"Granted, the attack plans Claude spit out were full of hallucinations, but it got the ball rolling for me to organize my fellow unemployed humans and get marching," Brightwell adds, tightening the bolts on her homemade trebuchet. "After all, AI can't throw a molotov cocktail!" [...]
"Sure, we probably could have avoided this if we'd accompanied our artificial intelligence products with any kind of workable universal basic income system," explains Altman from one of his currently-burning $12.8 million San Francisco homes. "But I'd still rather die with all this money."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Demo station

jwz — Sat, 14 Mar 2026 18:15:32 +0000

Since we had dozens of video game demo stations at our various GDC events this week, I snuck an XScreenSaver kiosk into the mix. I'm not sure anyone noticed it.

The Removed DOGE Deposition Videos Have Already Been Backed Up Across the Internet

jwz — Sat, 14 Mar 2026 17:36:38 +0000

"What is DEI?"
"Feeeeeeeeemales."

Oh no. Anyway

On Friday, government lawyers in the lawsuit filed a court record which said they asked the plaintiffs to remove the videos "from the internet due to concerns that the publication of the videos could subject the witnesses and their family members to undue harassment and reputational harm." The filing then said that Fox specifically "has been subject to harassment and has received a number of death threats since the videos and video clips were publicized and circulated."

Internet Archive; torrent magnet link (only 5 seeders!)

Update: Judge says "no".

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

How to get out of jury duty

jwz — Sun, 22 Feb 2026 05:00:34 +0000

Judge forced to slash SF jury pool over hate for Elon Musk:

One candidate said, "In a criminal trial, I would feel morally obligated to convict, however, in a civil trial I could set those views aside," adding, "I believe it would be to the benefit of the human race for Mr. Musk to be sent to prison." [...]
"I don't believe the loss of several hundreds of millions of dollars in civil trial will be even a drop in the bucket to his wealth," he reportedly said. "So it doesn't really matter."
He did not make it onto the jury, and neither did a woman who said Musk has "no moral compass" and "used his wealth to buy votes." The judge also dismissed a candidate who said they disagree with the "existence of billionaires" and another who noted their dislike for Musk's firing of Twitter content moderators.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

"Hahaha get wrecked ya surveilling fucks"

jwz — Sat, 21 Feb 2026 01:41:11 +0000

Across the US, people are dismantling and destroying Flock surveillance cameras:

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

"Door ajar" versus $100 billion valuation.

jwz — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 01:23:47 +0000

Today I learned that you can DoS a Waymo by opening its door.

"The More You Know..."

Waymo, Google's autonomous vehicle company, and DoorDash, the delivery and gig work platform, have launched a pilot program that pays Dashers, at least in one case, around $10 to travel to a parked Waymo and close its door that the previous passenger left open.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Peter Thiel, Bad Vampire

jwz — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 20:44:55 +0000

This is not the language of a man who fears death. This is the language of a man who solved it in the 1400s and is tired of pretending.

The one thing the longevity-vampire community has not yet learned from Dracula is operational security.
Dracula operated in silence for centuries. He didn't have a podcast. He didn't track his erection quality on a public dashboard. He didn't appear on Netflix. He understood that the fundamental rule of being a vampire is: don't talk about being a vampire.
Johnson, Thiel, and their cohort have broken this rule comprehensively. Whether this represents a new era of transparency or a catastrophic strategic miscalculation remains to be seen.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

March for Billionaires

jwz — Fri, 06 Feb 2026 23:30:41 +0000

AI-poisoned Y-Combinator pick-me lickspittle throws parade:

Derik Kauffman insists it's not a joke. He's actually planning to hold a March for Billionaires in San Francisco this weekend. And he says he's doing so because he's opposed to a proposed state tax on billionaires and, more simply, because he feels as if the billionaire class has been unfairly vilified. [...]
The point of the event is to "change the sentiment on this to recognize that billionaires have done a lot for us and communicate that we're glad they're here," Kauffman said. [...]
He told The Examiner he's neither a billionaire defending his own interests, nor just acting as a front for the ultrarich. Last year, Kauffman founded an artificial-intelligence startup called RunRL that took part in Y Combinator's accelerator program.
Kauffman said he's not in contact with any billionaires or getting any funding from them, nor are there any other groups involved with the event. Instead, he's footing the cost of the March for Billionaires website himself and is the principal organizer of and publicist for it, he said.

Update: "Oh no. anyway"

San Francisco’s billionaire bacchanal a big bust:

Just one percent of Americans hold nearly a third of the nation's wealth. So it was fitting that after organizers announced an apparently earnest "March for Billionaires" for this Saturday at Alta Plaza Park, only a handful of pro-billionaire agitators actually showed. [...]
The tens of billions of dollars that could be raised from this tax would fund healthcare, a journalist said. What did Kauffman think of that?
Kauffman began his rebuttal, but it was drowned out by the hubbub of a "counter protester" wearing a towering papier-mâché chef puppet costume chasing around a man in a crown. "He's coming to eat the rich!" the royal provocateur yelled. "Help me get away from the unwashed masses!" [...]
"I am a Christian," said Annie. "I swear on my God that I am completely genuine." [...] "People are just jealous that they are poorer and weaker and uglier," she said. "We are beautiful. We're smart. We're strong... We are supporting the billionaires, here."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Zipbomb JSON

jwz — Sun, 01 Feb 2026 06:25:50 +0000

Someone who is not me should formulate a maximally-malicious JSON file. I made one with a nesting depth of ~182 million, but "jq" gives up early, at only around depth 3,000. So one trick would be to find the right balance of nesting and array length that stays under typical parsers' limits as long as possible, while requiring as much RAM as possible to get there.

Update: Ok fine, since you have all failed me, I wrote a JSON bomb generator. With a 10GB file, "jq" 1.8.1 takes a full minute to produce no output.

Previously, previously, previously.

The Dildo Distribution Delegation

jwz — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 19:44:49 +0000

"I'm going to hand out big dicks to little-dick ICE agents."

The Geneva Convention disintegrated. The Founding Fathers wept. Somewhere, a federal HR manager clutched their chest and whispered, "No. Not like this." [...]
Across the barricades stood a row of cops in riot gear. Helmets. Batons. Armor. Gas masks. High-vis jackets. The full authoritarian cosplay kit. They looked like they were guarding nuclear launch codes. They were guarding a hotel lobby full of ICE agents who were about to be spiritually obliterated by a box of clearance-bin dicks.
We opened the box.
The first dildo flew through the air like a rubber prophecy and skidded to a stop directly at the boots of a state trooper.
And that's when the United States government lost its entire fucking mind.
Before anyone could even laugh properly, before a second dildo could achieve liftoff, before reality had time to process the absurdity of what had just happened, the cops panicked like Victorian men seeing an ankle.
Tear gas.
Pepper balls.
Instant chaos.
The very first rubber dick to touch government-issued leather boots triggered a full-blown chemical weapons response. That is not metaphor. That is not exaggeration. That is a literal sentence that happened in America in 2026. [...]
ICE agents peeked out of hotel windows like scared children witnessing a public execution, except the execution was their dignity and the executioner was a $5 clearance dildo. Arianne was still smiling -- not because it was funny, not because it was cute, but because she knew, in her bones, that we had just cracked reality in half.
We didn't even get to the full distribution phase before they freaked out. The mere presence of one dildo at their feet was enough to trigger chemical weapons. That's how paper-thin their authority is. That's how little it takes to make them go full riot-cop meltdown mode. [...]
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Big beautiful stickers, the best stickers

jwz — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 06:48:36 +0000

Fascists really are just the pettiest little pissbabies in the world, aren't they?

DOI cracks down on stickers covering Trump's face on national park passes:

The Department of the Interior recently updated its "Void if Altered" rules for 2026, explicitly flagging stickers and other coverings as alterations that could invalidate the pass. The move appears to respond to visitors preparing to cover the image of Trump, which was set to begin appearing on passes Jan. 1 despite legal challenges.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Christmas Throwback: EXERCISE VAGUE JOY

jwz — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 19:19:07 +0000

It was ten years ago today that I decorated the Christmas tree in my building's heavily-surveilled lobby. Simpler times.

Happy Surveillmas!

Previously, previously.

Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist

jwz — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 19:00:12 +0000

I thought it was just me.

NEW HAVEN, CT -- Shedding new light on a previously undocumented effect of loneliness, a team of psychologists at Yale University found that at least 80% of Americans lack the social connections necessary to pull off a heist.

"When it comes to putting together a crew with the skills needed for a bank job or a jewel heist, a majority of Americans reported knowing just one or two guys, tops," said lead researcher Jane Iannitello, adding that only 20% had any safecrackers in their lives, a mere 16% knew any hacker prodigies with a rebellious streak, and fewer than 5% had access to Taiwanese acrobats doubling as masters of disguise.
"As they spend more and more time on social media, people just aren't going out to underground boxing rings, art auctions, or other settings where they are likely to meet a fast-talking charismatic type who pulls them into a daring heist. They often lose touch with their demolition experts after childhood, and though people may be eager for a big money payday that could mean walking away from the life for good, they are too afraid to put themselves out there for fear of rejection. Even in cases where they have a crew big enough for a heist, lonely Americans are often left feeling stranded due to a lack of getaway drivers, which forces them to brandish firearms at total strangers and demand that they drive, just drive."
While researchers cautioned the trend is likely to continue, they went on to state that some of the negative effects could be mitigated by reaching out to therapists with a plan, a keycard, and nothing to lose.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Honsky Dot CX Adjustable Anus Clamp

jwz — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 16:49:37 +0000

Compatible with All Anuses. For 7.9" to 12.9".

Cool!!!...cute, compact and effective!!! Thumbs-up design!!! Use it as anus clamp at home, rectum holder at the office for fashion and youth feel.
The unique and cute appearance can be used as a gift for your family and friends during the Christmas season, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, etc.
Stability. Practicality. Stretchability. Viewing Angle.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Exterminate all rational AI scrapers, redux redux

jwz — Thu, 23 Oct 2025 03:11:44 +0000

Nine months ago I added an infinite-nonsense honeypot to poison LLM scrapers.

Today, it comprises 69% of my total URLs served. (Nice.)

Normally it feeds junk after a few seconds delay, but in "high-load mode" it bans IPs for 30 days instead. High-load mode is entered when the free-worker count is low, and ends when it has been calm for 15 minutes.

This month it has been in high-load mode 50% of the time: 15 out of 30 days of traffic.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Today in Christofascism

jwz — Sat, 11 Oct 2025 05:22:01 +0000

The meandering gospel of Peter:

Peter Thiel is worried about the antichrist. It could be the US. It could be Greta Thunberg. [...]
On the day of Thiel's final lecture in San Francisco, as the mostly young and mostly male crowd lined up to get in, a group of about 20 protesters stood out front holding anti-Palantir and anti-Ice signs that said things such as "Predatory tech", "We do not profit from people who profit from misery" and "Not today Satan".
A trio of self-described "satanists" dressed in black costumes with goth makeup walked up and down the line of attenders carrying a goblet of red liquid with a small plastic replica of a bone. "Will you bring our dark lord Peter Thiel this baby's blood?" they asked. Then they performed what they called a "dark ritual", dancing slowly in a circle to Mozart's Requiem in D minor, which ended with them writhing on the city sidewalk, and yelling: "Take us to your personal hell ... Thank you for being our dark lord." [...]
Thiel said that international financial bodies, which make it more difficult for people to shelter their wealth in tax havens, are one sign the antichrist may be amassing power and hastening Armageddon, saying: "It's become quite difficult to hide one's money."

I am constantly re-discovering that billionaires are some of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Felon 100 ➡︎

jwz — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 20:27:33 +0000

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

MAGA Is Mad at GWAR

jwz — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 23:03:36 +0000

▶︎

Libs of TikTok called GWAR's performance an act of "incitement."

A representative for GWAR told The New York Post, "Normalizing violence? [...] GWAR is to violence what the New York Post is to journalism. Ridiculous."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Etsy Witches

jwz — Tue, 09 Sep 2025 23:14:55 +0000

We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk:

If the far-right misogynist with a bad haircut wants to villainize independent women, Jezebel is more than happy to be the hag of his nightmares. [...]
Then I found the crown jewel: "Shit Your Pants Spell." Review: "It really worked. Thank you." At that point, it was clear I'd need to order multiple curses, at different severity levels and price points, to guarantee results.

Update: I did not have Jezebel on my "preemptively kowtow to the fascist regime" bingo card, but here we are. "On the recommendation of our lawyers", "driven by an abundance of caution".

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

The Alleged Sandwich

jwz — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 22:36:52 +0000

We go now to DC:

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Waymo Dance Party

jwz — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 21:51:01 +0000

▶︎

The murderbots need not love us, so long as they fear us.

At one point, three Waymos were all stalled, seemingly confused:

Selika Josiah Talbott, a transportation mobility policy expert and former federal advisor with decades of leadership shaping autonomous vehicle regulation, finds this sort of behavior shocking and horrifying.
"One of the things that is happening is here is we're teaching artificial intelligence that people are dangerous. We're teaching artificial intelligence that people are harmful, and that's not what we want," said Talbott.

What you mean "we"?

"There was an officer that appeared and eventually sort of shooed everyone to the side so that the vehicle to begin to move," Talbott described. "Even the vehicle's hesitancy as it began to operate again was because of the intrusiveness of humans." [...]
"We need law enforcement to deal with the bad actors who are trying to, whether it's playing games or seriously trying to harm the technology."

Oh no, are they trying to "harm the technology"? Is that related to "criminal contempt of business model"?

Poor widdle wobot, it was feeling "hesitant!" These fratboys might have hurt its widdle wobot uwu twillion-dollar-market-cap feewings.

Humans: an intrusive species in the robot ecosystem. What are we doing on their roads anyway?

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.